05/07/2018

  • So the thoughts that are currently clogging my brain:
    • I am struggling to trust people.
      I can’t make a decision.
      Insecure
      Needy
      Caretaker – Mothering People
      I organise my life around the happiness of others.
      Paranoid
  • Have I got PTSD?
    • Anxious all the time – its debilitating
      Flashbacks of abuse.
      I struggle to see a future everything seems to be uncertain.
  • Have I got an ED?
    • I have lost 2 stone since April.
      I am tired all the time.
      I am constantly dizzy when I stand up or I faint.
      My hair is falling out.
      I have fine hair growing all over my body more than ever.
      Very dry skin.
      I am cold all the time.
      Lower blood pressure.
      Difficulty concentrating.
      Obsession with body size and shape – I am constantly looking in the mirror or asking George if I am fat.
      Checking calories religiously – tracking everything I eat and weighing everything.
      Cutting food into tiny pieces.
      I cook every night so I don’t feel hungry.
      I have to do at least 10,000 steps every day I won’t go to bed until I have reached my goal.
      I weigh myself up to 3 times a day.
      I am doing body checks as I find it comforting.
      I am taking Appetite Suppressants.
      “her” voice is getting louder when I look in the mirror I hear “her”. She is telling me I’m fat, ugly, a disappointment, unattractive…  
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